The Things We Say
by SaturnineSunshine
Summary: Dialogue fic with all things CB. "There's no need for sarcasm. I was 16 years young. I didn't know there were so many other options. And I was enraptured in a fast developing love with a girl full of unforgiving beauty."
1. Lures of His Limo My Faulty Self Control

A/N: Instead of studying for exams like I should be, I wrote my first semi- fluff Chair piece. It's all dialogue (my first ever.) I'm not good at the whole witty banter thing that Chuck and Blair have going for them, but I did try. And I know that some of the things they say might not be very clear, especially what happens at the end, but this is my first so... sorry. One- shot.

Gossip Girl does not belong to me because if it did Chuck and Blair would get over themselves and just say that they love each other.

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-- "Unforgivable."

-- "Blair, I said I was--"

-- "Unforgivable."

-- "Why do you care, anyway?"

-- "...because... she's my friend, that's why."

-- "Just because you smile sweetly at her in the same living conditions, doesn't make you actual friends. Your exploits at Constance should at least have taught you that."

-- "That's your excuse? You don't think its a big deal because you're opinionated that we're not actually friends?"

-- "That's the idea. I don't really understand why I owe you an apology. And why are you making it your business to be so invested in my private life, anyway?"

-- "Trust me, Bass, its not that private. And you made it my business when you started tearing through my friends like paper."

-- "Still, the actual boyfriend with the best friend must have been worse. You seemed to have forgotten and forgiven that particular incident. Need I remind you of the Shepard Wedding?"

-- "That was different."

-- "Why?"

-- "Because. That was a long time ago. And I don't lo..."

-- "You don't... love him anymore?"

-- "Ugh! I hate you!"

-- "Actually, it sounds like you do a lot more than hate me."

-- "You're heinous."

-- "Agreed. And for the record, it was never my intention to sleep with your roommate to be overly malicious."

-- "For once."

-- "You think so little of me."

-- "You give me no choice."

-- "You don't need one, as I recall. You chose the backseat of the limo every time, for instance."

-- "You nauseate me."

-- "Then why are you smiling?"

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Stop looking at me like that."

-- "Stop being so appealing to look at."

-- "What are you doing, Bass?"

-- "I thought I was coming on to you. You seemed to be responding well enought."

-- "I can see what you're doing... not to mention feel it..."

-- "Really? Because for a second it seemed that you completely forgot how this works."

-- "Don't worry. There are things about you that will be engraned in my brain forever."

-- "Thank you."

-- "Not a complement."

-- "It is coming from you. Speaking of coming..."

-- "Don't try to flatter me."

-- "Is it working?"

-- "... You're going to have to not do that."

-- "I wasn't aware I was doing anything."

-- "You know exactly what you're doing."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "...ow."

-- "That's the price you pay for seducing me in such a cramped space."

-- "So it is working."

-- "I'm not having sex with you on top of the bar."

-- "Why not? I own the place. And you dno't have to worry about anyone walking in, its closed."

-- "I told you, its cramped, and cold... Oh yeah, not to mention probably the least classy thing I've heard of in my life."

-- "That's what the conveniently placed stage is there for. You know, the one you've had so much fun dancing on. And I wasn't aware that class was a value high on your list. Does that mean you don't think my limo is classy?"

-- "... I never said it wasn't..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Okay."

-- "Okay."


	2. Scheme Together, He Only Schemes for Me

A/N: Yes, I wrote another pure dialogue one. They seem to be the most humorous. It would appear that I can only write them during class, as well, because that's what I do when I'm bored. Again, I hope the situation and what they're talking about isn't too confusing. The ending is kind of abrupt but you can probably assume what will happen.

Disclaimer: No ownership of GG or Chuck Bass for me... sigh...

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--"Don't be so loud!"

--"As I recall, last night, you were the one who-"

--"Shut up! Last night never happened!"

--"The scratches on my back beg to differ."

--"All you'll be doing is begging if you don't stop talking this instant."

--"My, my, Waldorf. I do love it when you talk dirty."

--"Are you gonna do what we came here for, or not?"

--"We could be doing more than a couple of things..."

--"I love the witty banter as much as you do, Bass, but save it. You said you had something. We're here for social destruction, that's it."

--"Hm... Well its been so long since I've been in here, I can't remember where I left it-- Ow!"

--"Will you stop kidding around? I can't get another detention. My chances at Yale are already in bad enough shape as it is."

--"Then will you stop bludgening me with your purse. Oh, here it is."

--"Finally. I don't know why I had to come to an empty classroom to find your phone with you in the first place."

--"Well, you, me, a closed door... I figured a couple of things I needed you for could come in handy."

--"Yeah, in your dreams."

--"Yes, every night. You know what is also in my dreams? You screaming my name-"

--"What was that?"

--"You screaming my name?"

--"No! I heard something. Can we please leave?"

--"I love it when you beg me."

--"Ugh, I detest you."

--"No, you just want me. You're right, let's leave so we can make that happen."

--"Do you have it?"

--"Yes... I'm holding it, I just told you I found it..."

--"Not the phone, the pictures on it. They better be there."

--"You know no one can photograph a scandal like I can."

--"Well, let's see it then... EW, Bass, that is not what I meant. I wanted to see the pictures."

--"...of?"

--"You said you had dirt on the bitch who is trying to take me down."

--"Don't get your La Perlas in a bunch. And future reference-- grabbing my hair like that is not so much as painful as a major turn on."

--"Just show me the damn photo."

--"..."

--"...Oh, my God... is that...? Bass, you are a photographing genius."

--"I can think of a couple ways you can thank me. And I told you no one is as good as me. Now, say it."

--"Say what?"

--"Say no one is as good as me."

--"You're kidding."

--"No... If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have your black mail. Say it."

--"Ugh, fine, Chuck. No one is as good as you."

--"That's what I like to hear."

--"Are you ready to do this?"

--"God, I thought you'd never ask. I'll lock the door."

--"Not that. You successfully aided me. Are you ready to take this bitch down?"

--"For you, anything."

--"...Thanks..."

--"Waldorf, you sure do know how to take a complement."

--"Okay, whatever. Let's just leave. I don't want that bitch to have any more ammunition than she already has."

--"She's just a teacher, Blair."

--"A teacher who has a personal vendetta against me and is stopping me from getting into Yale!"

--"Okay, okay. You're getting to that shrill place. My limo's waiting outside."

--"Okay."

--"...Okay?"

--"...Yes..."

--"Well I suppose that is one way you can repay me."

--"Don't we have a one track mind."

--"Well you did promise me you'd owe me if I did this for you."

--"And that's what you came up with?"

--"It's the bset I could think of. It pleasures both parties equally."

--"If you think this is an equal relationship, you are sadly mistaken."

--"This is a relationship?"

--"You don't want it to be one, do you?"

--"I wouldn't mind."

--"...Really?"

--"My limo's waiting, Waldorf. And so am I."

--"If it's what you want."

--"You're what I want."


	3. Reasons Why My Mother Hates My Fiancee

A/N: This isn't my usual dialogue piece. There are two parts to it, so try not to be too confused. The first part is Blair on the line with her mother. You only hear Blair's side of the conversation and the inbetweens is her mother. The second part is Chuck and Blair's reaction to the phone call.

Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine (sigh).

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-- "Hello?"

--"..."

--"Oh, hello, mother."

--"..."

--"Well if you read it in the paper, then it must be true."

--"..."

--"What are you doing reading the tabloids?"

-- "..."

-- "Well its not my fault I'm one of the most thoroughly stalked people on the Upper East Side. Actually, that's your fault. Try designing low rent clothing so we lose money, sometime."

-- "..."

-- "Yes, of course I was being sarcastic."

-- "..."

-- "I know its late, but you called me. And according to you, I have a reason to celebrate."

-- "..."

-- "Stop reading the tabloids, then."

-- "..."

-- "I'm with... friends."

-- "..."

-- "Yes mother, this late out."

-- "..."

-- "Well if you knew the truth, then why did you ask.

-- "..."

-- "Yes, I'm with him."

-- "..."

-- "Well he is my fiancee."

-- "..."

-- "I didn't tell you because I knew you'd have a reaction that somewhat resembles this one. It was sort of spontaneous, anyway."

-- "..."

-- "Yes, I know your story of spontaneous marriages. I lived it, remember? He was my father, after all."

-- "..."

-- "I am quite aware of his reputation, thank you."

-- "..."

-- "Well at least he's a womanizer and won't turn out to be gay and move to France with his lover."

-- "..."

-- "Mother, I didn't mean to upset you, but you have moved on. You are... married."

-- "..."

-- "Why thank you, Mother. That is incentive to marry him. Maybe he will leave me.

-- "..."

-- "Yes, Mother, I was being sarcastic again."

-- "..."

-- "Yes, I am aware of how many women he's slept with."

-- "..."

-- "Yes, the exact number."

-- "..."

-- "... and their names, too, yes."

-- "..."

-- "No, mother... he hasn't... pressured me."

-- "..."

-- "of... course... I'm still a virgin."

-- "..."

-- "Yes, you did always tell me to wait for marriage."

-- "..."

-- "Well, you're being a little hypocritical, Mother. I know you didn't wait with Daddy."

-- "..."

-- "Not waiting for marriage doesn't turn a man gay."

-- "..."

-- "Because I know."

-- "..."

-- "Mother, if he wasn't being faithful I don't think we'd be having this conversation at all."

-- "..."

-- "You indirectly calling me a bitch isn't helping, either."

-- "..."

-- "Well I learned from the master."

-- "..."

-- "...Yes, I'm sorry."

-- "..."

-- "... I guess I could go on a diet... I didn't think a size two was that bad..."

-- "..."

-- "Yes, Mother, I'll see you tomorrow."

-- "..."

-- "No, I won't show up married."

-- "..."

-- "... or pregnant. It's nice to know what you think of me."

-- "..."

-- "I can't get married without being pregnant?"

-- "..."

-- "Well just because you were..."

-- "..."

-- "Fine, fine, I'll see you tomorrow."

-- "..."

-- "Goodbye, Mother."

-- "So how's Eleanor?"

-- "..."

-- "Wow, I didn't think you could perfect that death glare anymore."

-- "For the record, you laughing at every comment I make to my mother was very distracting."

-- "Well it was very amusing. I'm impressed your mother knows about my exploits."

-- "That's putting it lightly."

-- "What interested me most was how you now how many women I've been with... and their names. I don't even know that."

-- "Don't flatter yourself, Bass. I don't follow you around sending blasts to Gossip Girl."

-- "Yes, that would be quite difficuult trying to take pictures of youself. Especially in that dark closet the other night..."

-- "The things I sacrifice for you, Bass. I would never get caught doing the things I do with you."

-- "I do find a great sense of pride convincing you into doing anything."

-- "Well, if you wouldn't keep your hands of me, my mother wouldn't be so worried."

-- "Me? As I recall, it was you who pulled me into that restroom of the restaurant two weeks ago. And your mother's worried because that's just me. Nothing can change that. You already knew what you were getting into when you accepted."

-- "Whatever."

-- "My favorite part part was when you tried to convince your mother that you were still a virgin when she accused me of knocking you up."

-- "Sensitive, Bass. And you can't blame her. This is abrupt."

-- "So was your acceptance. And I have to tell you, Waldorf, "fine" is not an ego booster."

-- "Neither was your "proposal." Or should I say command."

-- "What is that supposed to mean?"

-- "Just saying "marry me" purposely at a random moment isn't that romantic."

-- "I was in the moment. I realized you were it for me."

-- "... Oh."

-- "What?"

-- "Nothing. That's just... that's really sweet of you, Chuck."

-- "Well... thanks. It's no wonder you accepted. Everyone knows I'm more than satisfying in bed. Even your mother."

-- "Shut up, Bass."


	4. How He Loves Me Back

A/N: I haven't written an all dialogue in like forever and I just remembered I had this lying around. We need some C/B on the hiatus so here it is.

Disclaimer: I don't own GG, if I did, this would become a reality.

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-- "Ow"

-- "Stop complaining. This was your own fault."

-- "It wasn't. But it was worth it, anyway. To have you slathering ice all over me."

-- "Ugh. Must you make everything sound so heinous?"

-- "It works. I'm getting a reaction from you. This is more contact than I've had from you all week. With toys involved."

-- "It's an ice pack, Chuck. Which you wouldn't need if you hadn't had the sudden urge to defend your honor."

-- "... I wasn't defending my honor."

-- "Right, well, what little you have of it left."

-- "Well you're icing my face, aren't you? That must be worth something."

-- "Just because you were being completely barbaric doesn't mean he wasn't being more so."

-- "You know I don't partake in violence. Especially when it comes to Humphrey. He's not worth it."

--"And the bar top just jumped up and hit you in the face?"

-- "For once, that wasn't even his fault... the floor tripped me."

-- "Or that clumsy bottle of vodka just jumped off the counter and spilt itself all over the floor. Graceful, Bass."

-- "I am the epitome of poise. I don't slip."

-- "Your face begs to differ."

-- "Careful with that, Waldorf. I'm sensitive."

-- "That's funny."

-- "How your sarcasm bites."

-- "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

-- "As much I'm enjoying our close proximity."

-- "Don't get excited, Bass. You're just lucky I pity you."

-- "I'm sure it was pity that caused you to run to my side after my health was threatened."

-- "Please. I wasn't worried about you. Humphrey just shouldn't think he's above the law with throwing fists into other peoples' faces all the time."

-- "Your care is touching."

-- "Any reference to you being touched is a joke."

-- "No, I don't think so. You know more than anyone about touching me."

-- "Oh, very witty, Bass."

-- "I thought you'd think so."

-- "Arrogance becomes you."

-- "Why do you think I always do it?"

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "...What?"

-- "Nothing. I just derive a great sense of pride in knowing I'm the only one who can really make you laugh."

-- "Please, Bass. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does... And stop smirking at me."

-- "No, I'm right. You don't have to pretend with me. You can actually be real for once."

-- "Chuck Bass being philisophical."

-- "How your sarcasm mocks me."

-- "Well you make it so easy."

-- "Only you can get away with that, Waldorf."

-- "I can get away with a lot because I hold the power. Without me, your face would be swelling twice the size it is already."

-- "You're right. I'm eternally grateful."

-- "Look who's being sarcastic now."

-- "No, I'm completely serious. You are the essence of perfection."

-- "Yeah?"

-- "Yes."

-- "Well if I'm so perfect, then why am I here with you, icing your face?"

-- "Because, as you clearly pointed out before, my face would be twice the size it is now if it weren't for you."

-- "No... why are you here? Is Dan Humphrey really worth three assaults?"

-- "..."

-- "Chuck."

-- "... Some things are worth it."

-- "And Humphrey is one of them?"

-- "Please. I'd hope you'd give me a little more credit than that."

-- "Then... what did he say to you?"

-- "What makes you think he said anything?"

-- "I know you, Bass. Not to mention you admitted it yourself. You don't act that way without being provoked. Scheming under the radar is more your style."

-- "Like you."

-- "Yeah, okay... So what was it?"

-- "Why are you so interested?"

-- "Why are you so evasive?"

-- "..."

-- "You know you can fool anyone but me, Bass."

-- "He deserved it. That's all."

-- "I would think he'd deserve more than a shove. He punched you in the face. All for insulting his sister. Again."

-- "She deserved that, too. But you're right. He did deserve more than that."

-- "Are you foing to stop avoiding the subject, now?"

-- "And what about it captivates you?"

-- "I'm a need to know person."

-- "There are just things Humphrey shouldn't even know, let alone be talking about."

-- "What, he found out about the Thai hookers? Trust me, Chuck, that's not a secret."

-- "I don't give a damn about what Humphrey thinks of me. I do however, care when he starts talking smack about the people I love."

-- "Love and Chuck Bass? ... Why would he be talking smack about Nate? I thought they were friends."

-- "He wasn't talking about Nate."

-- "Who, then? Nate is the only person you love... Unless you're discovering some strong new found feelings about Eric."

-- "..."

-- "Chuck, that was a joke."

-- "I know."

-- "Well then, who?"

-- "..."

-- "Chuck, look at me."

-- "Just drop it, Blair."

-- "Why bring it up if you didn't want to talk about it?"

-- "It was a mistake. Just forget it."

-- "Impossible. Just tell me."

-- "I did. Humphrey was just talking."

-- "About what? I didn't think you were so possessive of your hoes."

-- "Please. Those girls don't even compare to you."

-- "... What did you just say?"

-- "...Nothing."

-- "You did that for me?"

-- "You mean acting uncivilized and accosting Brooklyn trash? Yeah, I did it for you."

-- "No one's ever done anything like that for me."

-- "You're... impressed?"

-- "Not impressed. God, you'll have that black eye for days. What were you thinking?"

-- "So... you're mad."

-- "I'm not mad. You are insufferable. Why do you think people keep punching you in the face?"

-- "You didn't seem to be complaining when I was protecting you."

-- "I don't need to be protected."

-- "No, you don't. But you like it when I do."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Oh, and Bass-- next time you tell me you love me, you don't have to do it in such a back handed way."

-- "Let's not ruin this with you talking."

-- "You are such a charmer."

-- "That's why you love me."

-- "For the first time I can say the same about you."

-- "Just shut up and kiss me again."


	5. The Things He Makes Me Do

A/N: All dialogue. Sort of self explanatory. Timeline: Season 1. CHAIR.

Disclaimer: I don't own GG, but I'm amped for tonights episode-- Chuck finally realizes what's important to him. It's about time.

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-- "This is all your fault."

-- "So quick to blame, Waldorf, but who was he one who dragged me here in the first place?"

-- "I really hope that's your failed attempt at rhetoric sarcasm."

-- "I'm just saying it was unnecessary."

-- "'Unecessary?' We could have been spotted."

-- "What? Embarassed to be seen with me?"

-- "The only thing that would be embarassing would be that black eye you'd be sporting if I hadn't saved us."

-- "'Us?' How touching.

-- "Don't get too excited, Bass. I still haven't forgiven you."

-- "My excitement doesn't have so much to do with what you said, but what you're wearing."

-- "Well, right now you can't see what I'm wearing. We're locked in a closet, remember?"

-- "You're right, anyway. In the end it doesn't really matter what you're wearing. It'll just end up on the floor of my limo."

-- "..."

-- "Ow! What did you do, just get a manicure?"

-- "All the better to scratch you with, my dear."

-- "Oh, so we're back to terms of endearment? And I'm well acquainted with your nails, Waldorf. They've made quite an impression on my back."

-- "Would you just shut up and get us out of here?"

-- "What makes you think I want to? Locked in a closet with you-- a dream come true."

-- "That better be sarcasm in your voice."

-- "Would you want it to be?"

-- "..."

-- "That's what I thought. The reality is that you like the way I complement you. No one makes you feel the way I do."

-- "You're too egocentric for your own good."

-- "I'm not hearing any denial. But I wouldn't believe you if you did, anyway."

-- "No matter who I'm trapped in here with, it's still a coat closet. The company doesn't disguise the fact that we're stuck in here with other people's belongings. I want out of here and you're going to help me."

-- "You're so demanding. I love it when you're aggressive."

-- "You haven't seen aggressive."

-- "You're right, I haven't. But I've felt it."

-- "Ew. Must you always be so heinous?"

-- "That's the difference between me and your precious golden boy, princess. I'm not afraid to tell you the truth."

-- "That 'golden boy' is your best friend."

-- "And yet we're in a closet hiding from him."

-- "Well excuse me if I wanted to save you from him seeing you with your hands all over me."

-- "Who said I was complaining? I would much rather be in here with you than that boring party."

-- "Well that makes one of us. Serena will notice that I've been missing for longer that I should have been."

-- "What's the problem? I thought you said she already knew about us."

-- "That doesn't change the fact that she despises you. You are corrupting her innocent best friend."

-- "'Innocent?' I don't know if you've noticed, but you've gone wild before me. It's not my fault I'm the only one who you let see the real you."

-- "You think you're so special."

-- "I know it. I'm the only one stuck in here with you, aren't I?"

-- "Not for long. You're getting us out of here, remember?"

-- "Is that really what you want?"

-- "Um... Yes..."

-- "Really? You would like to see dear Nathaniel spot us strolling out of a dark closet after half an hour?"

--"..."

-- "Didn't think about that, did we? We don't know who's out there with what active camera phones. You're safer in here."

-- "With you? I think I'll take my chances."

-- "How long are you doing to pretend that I don't drive you wild with desire? Tonight alone is a testament to that."

-- "What makes you think I would even be caught in a situation like this with you again?"

-- "Maybe the fact that you already disclosed out indiscretions to your best friend."

-- "You haven't given yours the same courtesy."

-- "As you so helpfully pointed out, I'm protecting my own face by doing that. And you."

-- "Me?"

-- "I'm not the only one who could be destroyed by this little scandal of ours."

-- "Are you threatening me?"

-- "Why would I threaten you? I'm stuck in a dark closet with the most desireable girl I've ever met. The fact you want to be here is all the more arousing."

-- "Ew."

-- "Scoff all you want, sweatheart, but you know as well as I do that I'm the most exciting thing that's happened to you."

-- "That doesn't mean I have to admit it."

-- "I think you just did."

-- "Whatever."

-- "Don't worry. Who would I tell?"

-- "I don't know... maybe an entire upperclass society that would love to watch me burn?"

-- "Not a problem. I'll protect you."

-- "Oh, I feel so much better."

-- "You should. Who hasn't won with Chuck Bass on their side?"

-- "I wasn't aware we were playing a game."

-- "Just the game that both of us are experts at. You know you're just like me. There's no doubt about it."

-- "And yet I have more class than hanging around in a closet."

-- "Don't fool yourself, Waldorf. You know I don't just go around in random closets with other girls. You're special."

-- "Be still, my beating heart... and stop smirking at me."

-- "You can't even see me."

-- "I can feel it."

-- "You're more attuned to me than you let on."

--- "..."

--- "..."

-- "Whoa, hands!"

-- "What?"

-- "Do you really think this is the time or place for that?"

-- "No time like the present. And we both decided we weren't getting out of here any time soon. I'm just trying to pass the time."

-- "Someone could just walk in."

-- "Is that a 'yes?'"

-- "What? No!"

-- "Is it a 'no,' then?"

-- "Shut up, Bass."

-- "That's what I thought."

--"..."

--"..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Wait, stop."

-- "What is it?"

-- "When is that door going to get unlocked?"

-- "Who said it was locked?"

-- "What?"

-- "That door isn't locked."

-- "You are such a jerk!"

-- "Just so you know, you yelling at me isn't turning me off, any."

-- "I hate you!"

-- "No you don't."

-- "Don't even think about touching me."

-- "I wasn't thinking. I react instinctually."

-- "Ugh, how do I always end up here with you?"

-- "Because I make you feel what you can't feel with anyone else."

-- "You sure do know how to make a girl feel special, Bass."

-- "In more ways than one."

-- "Gross."

-- "Are we going to waste all this time with talking?"

-- "Do you have any better suggestions?"

-- "Yes."

-- "No."

-- "I didn't even suggest anything yet."

-- "I know what you're going to say."

-- "Enlighten me."

-- "You want me to have sex with you in this closet."

-- "See? We're more alike than you think."

-- "No, Chuck."

-- "No, you won't have sex with me right now, or no we're not alike?"

-- "I am not having sex with you!"

-- "That's probably why you're so pressed up against me."

-- "..."

--"..."

-- "..."

-- "That's better."

-- "I thought we weren't going to talk."

-- "That's my girl."


	6. His One and Only

A/N: This is my first all-dialogue in such a long time. Sorry if it's not that great. Some of it doesn't seem that Blair or Chuck, but I really wanted to get this out. I think it's obvious by now that I don't have a beta, so sorry for anything that doesn't make sense. This is a future fic after Blair has graduated college and is working.

Summary: "I can tell right now that you really don't want to leave me. Ever. Your so called facade isn't as fool proof as you thought."

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the intense desire to see Chuck and Blair be together forever.

-- "Leaving so soon?"

-- "I can't think of a reason to stay."

-- "Really? You seemed to be enjoying the recent activities."

-- "Well that's over now. As quick as it started, might I add."

-- "You wound my pride."

-- "Better than you stroking it."

-- "And what about the things you were stroking?"

-- "Despite the allure of your spectacular innuendos, I have places to be."

-- "Like the meeting that was going on in the very next room?"

-- "It's not my fault you are completely insatiable."

-- "Don't act like you're the victim here, Waldorf. You want it as much as I do."

-- "Present for you, maybe. Not me."

-- "This mantra is tired. No matter how much you try to convince yourself-- and me, apparently-- that you won't come back again, we both know it's only a matter of time. Same script, different scene."

-- "And what is that supposed to mean?"

-- "It means the same thing I've always told you. We're inevitable, Waldorf."

-- "..."

-- "What? No snappy retort?"

-- "Just calculating the amount of times that I've told you that never in your lifetime."

-- "And yet, here you are. Pulling your creased dress back on in the middle of my office. Again."

-- "For the last time."

-- "So I've heard. I think all of my employees did too. You were rather... enthusiastic."

-- "I would be surprised if I was the first one to be taken advantage of in your office."

-- "It's hard to take advantage when you're the one who was on top."

-- "Well at least you didn't have to fend off skeevy hands creeping up your thigh in the middle of a meeting."

-- "So that's what the heel into my instep was for."

-- "You probably receive so many it doesn't matter anymore."

-- "Any contact from you is good contact. Not to mention that I know when you get tempestuous like that, it's only a matter of time before we have to find a room in private. Does your mother's holiday party ring a bell?"

-- "You mean when Cyrus found us in the bathroom? Yet just another instance where you took advantage of the situation."

-- "As I recall, princess, my taking advantage of the situation made sure your dear mother never find out about us."

-- "There is no 'us.'"

-- "Well, terms like 'new money' were used, but the previous coupling we were involved in does lead me to the conclusion that there most certainly is an 'us.' There always was and that's not going to change no matter what stage of denial you decide to be in that hour."

-- "Whatever. I'm leaving."

-- "Yes, I'm sure it's not suspicious at all, leaving the CEO of Bass Industries' office after several hours and making, if I may say so, not very lady like sounds."

-- "No you may not say so. It doesn't matter, anyway. They'll just think I'm another one of your disposables."

-- "And I would correct them immediately."

-- "I'm sure. I'm completely sure that you are not, once again, using me for entertainment in another fit of your boredom."

-- "Well, we were at a board meeting, but that's not the reason."

-- "Oh?"

-- "You just looked so delectable in those stockings of yours, I just had to have you."

-- "I'm sure the board of directors were pleased by that."

-- "Since I own the company, it doesn't really matter to me what they think. But that was why I took you into another room. Mainly my office."

-- "Like any other of your hoes."

-- "You are massively mistaken if you think I take just any woman on my desk. It's sacred."

-- "There are many things you've deemed sacred in the past."

-- "And I still fully support that. If I have to remind you, Waldorf, my limo is still our place. I don't take anyone but you back there. It was a starting point for us."

-- "I bet you just love to tell the story of how you stole my virtue as anecdotes at cocktail parties."

-- "I wasn't just talking about that start of our physical relationship. We starting holding hands back there too. And anyway, it's doubtful you had any virtue to begin with. You are my one and only as you so constantly reminded me. Second, nothing of yours was stolen. Everything that transpired there was given purely of your own free will."

-- "You know what else I'm going to do of my own free will?"

-- "Something tells me it has to do with a quip about you leaving me right now."

-- "You're more perceptive than I thought."

-- "What are you talking about? I'm the most perceptive person there is. Especially when it comes to you."

-- "Is that so?"

-- "For instance, I can tell right now that you really don't want to leave me. Ever. Your so called facade isn't as fool proof as you thought."

-- "Well, I suppose it pales in comparison to your highly effective, indifferent mask."

-- "I don't suppose you're talking about the wile charms that have hurt you so in the past."

-- "Don't flatter yourself. You should know that you never had any influence on me whatsoever."

-- "Well I know I can influence you into anything concerning the back of a limo."

-- "You love bringing that up. And is that any way to speak to a client?"

-- "You were mine before you were my company's."

-- "I don't belong to anyone."

-- "Oh no? And I don't suppose that's why that's your underwear hanging off my lampshade over there."

-- "Shut up."

-- "And those witty quips keep on coming."

-- "So is the request of resignation from the board of directors."

-- "There it is."

-- "I think they found out about the pills and hookers."

-- "No, they were aware of that from the start."

-- "Tell me again why I'm still here?"

-- "Why? Have you run out of excuses?"

-- "There's nothing you can do to make me stay."

-- "What, in this office, or at all?"

-- "Pick one."

-- "No, I think you will stay."

-- "Don't."

-- "And I know you would be lost without me."

-- "I said don't touch me, Chuck."

-- "No, you just said 'don't.' Maybe you should be more specific."

-- "..."

-- "..."

--"..."

-- "See? I told you you'd stay."

-- "It would be suspicious if I walked out now."

-- "Of course it would."

-- "I'm just saving my already tarnished reputation, which coincidentally went to hell the minute I started giving you the time of day."

-- "So you're staying."

-- "I don't really have a choice."

-- "I can accept that. And something else."

-- "And what would that be?"

-- "Eventually you'll admit that you just can't let me go."

-- "We'll see."

-- "I know that's not sarcasm in your voice."

-- "Then you're delusional."

-- "Not today, Waldorf."

-- "Then what, Bass?"

-- "Triumphant."

-- "So you think."

-- "Well you're still here."

-- "Shut up."

-- "Make me."

-- "..."

-- "..."


	7. Where Denial Brings Us

A/N: Yay, another dialogue. I really don't think this is up to my usual potential. It's not as fluffy as usual. It does have some seriousness in it, but everything is good at the end. Not to worry. I don't have a beta, so sorry for any errors.

Summary: "Its one of the things I love about you. But its becoming clearer and clearer one does not just simply break good kitchenware over their beloved's head and split the second he goes to get a drink if one is not completely insane."

Disclaimer: I don't own GG or some of this wouldn't be so OOC.

-- "Want to be a little louder, Bass?"

-- "Trust me when I say my reaction is warranted."

-- "Did that really give you an excuse to abuse the door? They could hear you all the way downstairs."

-- "Well this is highly unprecedented."

-- "What are you talking about?"

-- "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

-- "I'm not a mind reader."

-- "How about the thing you've been keeping from me?"

-- "The only thing that I've been keeping was my previous distaste for you."

-- "Previous but not present."

-- "We're done, Chuck. What are you even doing here?"

-- "Funny how whenever you say you're done its you that comes into my loving arms again."

-- "'Loving?' You were the one who ended things, not me."

-- "You always did have a flair for the dramatics, Waldorf. We had a fight. You were the one who left."

-- "For good reason."

-- "I was gone for two hours, Blair. I come back and all your stuff is gone."

-- "You forget the part of the story that when you come home you're loaded."

-- "So you still consider it your home? Good. All the better for you to come back."

-- "I'm staying here, Chuck."

-- "Why? Just easier for you to live in denial?"

-- "Again, I have no idea what you're talking about."

-- "You always know what I'm talking about. We know each other better than anyone."

-- "Well that's over now."

-- "And somehow I find that difficult to believe. Maybe that has something to do with as soon as you say that, you end up purring in my ear."

-- "You know how I hate to repeat myself, but that's as over as this relationship."

-- "Great. Then I can expect you back home tonight."

-- "No, Bass."

-- "No what?"

-- "I'm not going anywhere with you."

-- "And why would that be? Could it be the possible guilt that is plaguing you about lying to me?"

-- "I never lied to you."

-- "Withholding such valuable information is the same thing."

-- "I've always bee truthful, Chuck. And that's more than I can say for you."

-- "Ancient history, Waldorf. Besides, I told you I loved you in the end."

-- "Yeah, nine months after I asked the first time."

-- "Speaking of nine months, how far along are you? I'm only asking because I didn't even know you were pregnant in the first place."

-- "You're first instinct was right, because I'm not."

-- "Are you really that blind, Waldorf? Or was the smashing china over my head not enough of a tip-off to your bitchy hormones?"

-- "Maybe I'm just a bitch. Even think about that?"

-- "Several times. Its one of the things I love about you. But its becoming clearer and clearer one does not just simply break good kitchenware over their beloved's head and split the second he goes to get a drink if one is not completely insane. Or pregnant."

-- "Are you calling me insane?"

-- "Exactly my point. Everyone knows you are a tad prone to overreaction but moving in immediatrely with your best friend after one lovers' quarrel--"

-- "You yelled at me!"

-- "And you threw sharp objects at me but I wouldn't have if you just told me the truth."

-- "What an overactive imagination, Bass. Have you been riding that smooth high of yours again, or is Humphrey's so called 'literature' getting to you?"

-- "Quite frankly, the only thing I want to be riding is you, but I don't think my dear sister would appreciate that in her bedroom."

-- "Good. Then leave."

-- "I'm afraid that's not possible."

-- "Oh, its very possible. Just move your legs in that direction."

-- "Not without you."

-- "Then I'm afraid you're stuck."

-- "That's okay. I can be a very patient man..."

-- "No you can't."

-- "...when it comes to you."

-- "Don't fool yourself."

-- "A year and a half of waiting until we officially got together. I can wait nine months until you get over this little hormonal stage of yours."

-- "I'm not pregnant."

-- "That's not what you told Serena."

-- "Serena heard wrong."

-- "Isn't it funny that only when one of us is feeling vulnerable does Serena hear wrong."

-- "Not really."

-- "You wouldn't be here if you weren't hiding from me."

-- "I'm not hiding."

-- "Then come home with me."

-- "That's not home. Not anymore."

-- "Since when? When that stick turned blue?"

-- "Let's be honest, Bass. You're not really made out of paternal material."

-- "I thought you weren't pregnant."

-- "I'm just saying."

-- "No, you're just rationalizing so you can tell me the real reason you left without really telling me."

-- "And what's that?"

-- "That you don't think I'm mature enough to become a father."

-- "You're not. Me being pregnant or not pregnant won't change that fact."

-- "Then let me tell you something you may or may not know. I'm terrified. You being pregnant has accomplished my worst fear. I'm not afraid of fatherhood. After everything that I went through with my own father, I know what to do. I just do the opposite of what he did. What I'm afraid of is walking into that maternity ward and walking out with you not by my side. I don't want our son to go through the childhood that I did."

-- "We're not having a boy."

-- "Oh, so you are pregnant?"

-- "No! What I meant was..."

-- "That's game, Waldorf. You just conceded."

-- "Never to you."

-- "You already have."

-- "... Stop smirking at me. You think you're so clever."

-- "Oh, but I am."

-- "I hate you."

-- "I heard your libido increases when you're pregnant. Do you find that to be true?"

-- "Shut up."

-- "Because if it is, its been too long since I've had you in my bed."

-- "It's been three days. And I'm not going home with you."

-- "We'll see."


	8. When the Floor Beckons Us

**A/N**: Yes! I have finally written another all dialogue. I've started school again, and that's what I do during class. I tried writing one before but it just came out really dramatic and that's not how I do my dialogue's. No angst. Just humor and fluff because Chair is back and its awesome. I'm not sure how good this is in comparison, but I tried.

**Summary**: "Is that what you were trying to convey to me while you were squirming and writhing beneath me, purring in my ear how much you wanted me? You forget, _Waldorf_, I know exactly what you want."

**Disclaimer**: All epicness is all Gossip Girl. All I came up with was the dialogue.

* * *

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…Chuck."

-- "Blair…"

-- "…"

-- "Blair."

-- "M—what?"

-- "…"

-- "What?"

-- "I can't do this."

-- "You have got to be kidding."

-- "Not as of late."

-- "…"

-- "Blair, stop."

-- "What is it?"

-- "I thought you should just know that a Jesus is staring at us."

-- "_What_?"

-- "…"

-- "Oh. That."

-- "Yes, _that_."

-- "What's the problem?"

-- "I'm sorry, but I cannot pleasure you while a statue of Jesus is staring at us."

-- "It's just a statue, Chuck."

-- "Since when did Harold get a statue of Jesus? I didn't take him for the religious type."

-- "It's Roman's."

-- "Well that makes all the difference."

-- "What do you want me to say?"

-- "…"

-- "Where are you going?"

-- "I told you. He judges me enough got my lavish lifestyle and past exploits. I don't want to get judged for making you scream on your father's living room floor on top of that."

-- "Never stopped you before."

-- "I don't want your father to have another reason to hate me."

-- "Why does it matter?"

-- "You know why."

-- "Well, he doesn't. You know that."

-- "Maybe. But that was before the incident at that garden party."

-- "I don't recall."

-- "I know for a fact that you do. You were too loud to forget that sort of thing."

-- "Ugh. He didn't see anything, anyway."

-- "That doesn't mean he didn't know what we were doing."

-- "It doesn't take that much imagination."

-- "Especially the way you were—"

-- "Shut up. And it wouldn't have mattered if you didn't have to compulsion to announce to the entire room what we were doing in the limo."

-- "It was beyond my control."

-- "Is that so?"

-- "Come on, Blair. That guy was all over you."

-- "_You_ overreacted."

-- "My reaction was completely warranted. Even Nathaniel agreed with me."

-- "Nate was having a Shakespearean affair with a Buckley at the time. He would have agreed with anyone who was calling out someone at a society event. He just wished he could do it to his grandfather."

-- "Besides the fact that I cannot believe you just called Nathaniel Shakespearean, I don't know why you're making such a big deal. You should be thanking me."

-- "_Thanking_ you? For what? The bite mark you gave me my neck that was practically purple by the time everyone noticed?"

-- "Don't even try to concede to pretending that you didn't enjoy it. I heard those sounds you were making."

-- "Sounds of disgust."

-- "Really? Is that what you were trying to convey to me while you were squirming and writhing beneath me, purring in my ear how much you wanted me? You forget, _Waldorf_, I know exactly what you want."

-- "So you have no qualms about marking your _territory_ at a public society event, but having sex with me in my own house is risqué? Because what I want is not to be lying on my back alone on this floor."

-- "Can't you just respect my wishes?"

-- "Why should I? Your wishes are unnatural. Tell me, am I really so repulsive that you can't have sex with me in my own house?"

-- "It's your father's house."

-- "…"

-- "Come on. You know that's not what I meant."

-- "Then what did you mean?"

-- "You know."

-- "Why don't you explain it to me? We're having the newlywed syndrome and you're not doing your job."

-- "Which is…?"

-- "Chuck!"

-- "I would do my duty if we just told everyone…"

-- "No."

-- "Why won't you tell anyone that we got married?"

-- "Because."

-- "Because you're so ashamed of me?"

-- "Please. Don't turn my own excuse around on me."

-- "Then why?"

-- "Because then we'll get boring."

-- "You know that we could never get boring."

-- "Getting married in secret is making this more interesting. And exciting."

-- "… Do I excite you?"

-- "Chuck…"

-- "Do I… arouse you?"

-- "Stop it."

-- "Just a moment ago you didn't want me to stop… it."

-- "Okay, you need to…."

-- "..."

-- "...m."

-- "That's what I thought."

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "So I'm assuming you're not going to leave me to finish this by myself."

-- "As hot as that would be, I'm too far now. I can't stop once we've started. You know that. I will do my husbandly duty to make you scram on your father's floor."

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "Oh, God."

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "Blair…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

--"…"

-- "…m."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Jesus."

-- "That wasn't my fault."

-- "No, its safe to say that the mind shattering orgasm I gave you, causing you to kick out, breaking your father's glass coffee table was entirely my fault."

-- "… Shut up."

-- "What? It's not like this hasn't happened before."

-- "Stop smirking at me. And you know Lily eventually forgave us for what we did to her bathroom."

-- "It was worth it."

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "Chuck…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "…"

-- "God, I love being married to you."


	9. Our Scents of Cigars and Ice Cream

**A/N**: I have to say this one is a lot better than my last chapter. More dialogues will be coming soon since I have really nothing else to do. I'm going through a Chair married life stage so I think there will be more of these to come.

**Summary**: "Don't act as though I'm not irresistible. And if I recall correctly, you were the one who had the inspired idea to take the stage again."

**Disclaimer**: All characters do not belong to me. All is Gossip Girl.

* * *

-- "Well that was..."

-- "A complete disaster!"

-- "I was going to say... eventful."

-- "Eventful? _Eventful_?"

-- "Relax, Waldorf. Your voice is reaching that shrill place."

-- "You're not the one who had to worry. You went off to smoke cigars with Daddy."

-- "I have to admit, I didn't consider Harold to be the type to be holding Cubans."

-- "Well while you were off smoking your _Cubans_, my mother was biting my head off."

-- "Don't you think you're being a bit melodramatic? I doubt Eleanor would consume her own kin."

-- "Melodramatic? _Melodramatic_?"

-- "Ow!"

-- "Stop yelling. My mother doesn't trust you as much as it is."

-- "Maybe if you'd stop hitting me, I could. And your mother loves me."

-- "Sure. She tolerated you. Up until we went up to her house and told her that you knocked me up."

-- "I know you're not blaming me. You have as much to do with this little predicament as I do."

-- "Me? As I recall, you were the one who assaulted me on the couch at _Victrola_."

-- "Put the blame where it belongs, Waldorf. You now that was through no fault of my own."

-- "I'm sure. I'm sure you just fell, pinning me to the couch. And off of me. And in again."

-- "Don't act as though I'm not irresistible. And if I recall correctly, you were the one who had the inspired idea to take the stage again."

-- "It was during out anniversary, you bastard."

-- "I'm as sentimental as the next person--"

-- "Okay."

-- "--but it would make more sense to celebrate the deflowering of your virginity in the back of the limo."

-- "We do that every day."

-- "And I am fully anticipating your little performance up there to become a yearly event. Besides, you know the weak shell of a man you resort me to when you don that little slip of yours for me."

-- "Just get a hold of yourself, Bass."

-- "At this stage, I think we'll both find that would be very... difficult."

-- "Well keep your hands to yourself."

-- "Is that what you really want?"

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "...mm."

-- "That's what I thought."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "...Chuck."

-- "I've got you."

-- "Chuck... No. You have to stop."

-- "Why."

-- "Because I just informed my mother that I was impregnated by demon spawn and I doubt the last thing she wants is to find you violating me in her bathroom."

-- "..."

-- "Stop laughing. This is not funny."

-- "It is when you're using the term 'violating' so lightly. You were nothing if not a willing participant."

-- "You're disgusting."

-- "Where are you going?"

-- "Downstairs."

-- "What's the point when I'm right up here?"

-- "Your narcissism has reached new heights."

-- "That's why you're smiling."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Stop distracting me."

-- "Fine."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "So when are you going to move in with me?"

-- "That's a considerable distraction."

-- "Waldorf."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Blair."

-- "What? You can do it but I can't?"

-- "My... distractions are distracting you from your mother's evil eye, not an important question."

-- "Important."

-- "Don't you think its a little ridiculous for a husband of seven years not to live with his wife?"

-- "Not when we eloped and no one knows about it anyway."

-- "Your mother does now. And you know we could have told people before."

-- "Really? Were you in support of that little plan when you were accosting your secret wife at brunches?"

-- "..."

-- "Glaring at me isn't going to change the fact that you know I'm right."

-- "Is that so? How about when your mother was accusing us of living in sin?"

-- "Technically, we weren't living together. It wasn't like this is our first time 'living in sin.' And my mother's not one to talk either way."

-- "We didn't tell anyone we were married for seven years."

-- "And look how well it was working out for us."

-- "I'm hoping that's sarcasm in your voice."

-- "Well until this moment it was working out fine until we started fighting."

-- "You mean besides that night in December..."

-- "That was an accident!"

-- "You threw that vase I got you at _Sotheby's_ at my head."

-- "What was I supposed to think?"

-- "You could have trusted me."

-- "Well a month after I found out I was pregnant I see you with some--"

-- "You and I weren't even living with each other. And she works for me."

-- "I can imagine exactly what she was working for."

-- "You are blowing this way out of proportion. As usual."

-- "Well excuse me if I'm carrying the seed of Satan. Rosemary had a better pregnancy than me. And that includes that ritual with the blood all over her."

-- "What did I say about watching Polanski late at night?"

-- "If you want to control me so much maybe you should be around me more."

-- "Maybe you should stop being such an overbearing bitch."

-- "Maybe you should stop being so insensitive.

-- "Maybe you should just move in with me."

-- "Maybe I should!"

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Really?"

-- "If you could stop being a pompous jerk for two seconds maybe I could actually admit that I wanted to."

-- "..."

-- "Don't get cocky."

-- "But that's one of my best attributes."

-- "You're heinous."

-- "Then why are you laughing?"

-- "Because I love you."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "... And because my mother wants another ceremony."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "...Wait, what was that?"

-- "..."

-- "You mother wants us to get married again?"

-- "She said that it was unfair that we were self-involved enough that she didn't get to go to the first one and society deserves to see the Waldorf-Bass wedding."

-- "I thought not telling people was to avoid situations exactly like this."

-- "You should have thought about that before you knocked me up."

-- "Hey, I did not plan for you to just jump on the stage at _Victrola_. Again, I might add. Mixed with the intoxication of you and the copious amounts of alcohol... you now how I get."

-- "Yes, the impression is lasting on my morning sickness and strange appetite."

-- "You're telling me. I'm still trying to get over watching you crush potato chips in your ice cream. Talk about slumming it."

-- "Again, its your over active libido that got us in this situation."

-- "Me? Need I remind you, _Mrs. Bass_, who's pregnancy causes her to jump her irresistible husband in his very own office on his desk?"

-- "I told you I'm not changing my name."

-- "Since we're getting a real wedding now, chances are you're going to."

-- "I'm compromising with a hyphenation and nothing more."

-- "Despite the fact that your deal making skills are impressive, what about my son that is currently in development? Hyphenation is cruel to the children."

-- "As opposed to the monosyllabic 'Bass.' And for the last time, _Bass_, you don't know that we're having a son."

-- "Someone's in denial."

-- "I hate you."

-- "These mood swings are getting cumbersome."

-- "I'm sorry my current condition is so inconvenient for you."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Shut up."

-- "Be nice to me because you have five more months of this."

-- "Believe me. There are several ways I plan on being... nice to you."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "So we could go downstairs now, if you wanted."

-- "We could stay up here for a little while longer."

-- "I love your mood swings."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Shut up, Bass."

-- "..."

-- "..."


	10. When I Seduce Him With My Truth

A/N: So I wanted to do a Halloween themed fic so I just typed this up really fast and that's why its so short. Its a future fic when Blair is still in college.

Summary:

-- "He should have known."

-- "Because everyone should know the intimate details of Chuck Bass's private life."

-- "If he was going to get anymore intimate with you I would have had to recruit Humphrey to intervene."

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Idea inspired by awesome Chair and holiday spirit.

* * *

-- "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

-- "What am I doing?"

-- "You tell me."

-- "Well you're the one who asked."

-- "Blair."

-- "Chuck."

-- "Fine, I'll be more specific. What in the hell is that you're wearing?"  
-- "I thought you had eyes, Bass."

-- "And I thought you had integrity, Waldorf."

-- "Are you saying you have a problem with what I'm wearing?"

-- "Me?"

-- "Well you're looking at me like I repulse you."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Blair. I am warring with myself whether to drag you home or tear your clothes off right here."

-- "You could do both."

-- "..."

-- "What?"

-- "We can't leave."

-- "Why..."

-- "Well now I have to teach him a lesson."

-- "Bass..."

-- "What? Retaliation is in order here."

-- "Retaliation? He's just some drunk frat guy, not a rival gang member."

-- "..."

-- "Fine, then I'll just go home. Without you"

-- "..."

-- "Ow, Bass."

-- "You're not going anywhere."

-- "Excuse me?"

-- "We're teaching him a lesson."

-- "_We_?"

-- "Yes. Because as of a month ago you are my newly instated girlfriend, _we_ are going to teach your _drunken frat guy_ the rules."

-- "Mine? Please. He is so not my type."

-- "You mean devastatingly handsome billionaires with stacks of funds to spend on you at his very whim?"

-- "Not to mention a perfect scheming partner."

-- "You know me well. Speaking of which..."

-- "I'm not going to fawn over you so I can slake your testosterone needs for the night."

-- "He was making a fool out of you."

-- "Don't try to manipulate this situation. You can't make me want to obey your caveman virility."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Bass, stop."

-- "..."

-- "I told you no."

-- "Did you tell him no?"

-- "I would have but you seemed to have possession on your mind."

-- "He should have known."

-- "We've only been back together for a month."

-- "Well he should have known."

-- "Because everyone should know the intimate details of Chuck Bass's private life."

-- "If he was going to get anymore intimate with you I would have had to recruit Humphrey to intervene."

-- "Because you're so powerful you can't do it yourself."

-- "Then you would have been mad at me for the first time since we got back together and I wouldn't want to do that on a holiday."

-- "This is a consumer's holiday, Chuck. It doesn't count."

-- "It does with you dressed like that."

-- "Which, if I recall, is what whipped you up into this frenzy to begin with."

-- "That costume will always whip me up into a frenzy. Its when other men start coveting what's mine do I get--"

-- "Possessive."

-- "If you want to be blunt about it."

-- "God, you're not even remorseful."

-- "Why would I be remorseful?"

-- "You really are something."

-- "Thank you..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Chuck... stop. We can't do this here."

-- "Why not? I could buy this place if I wanted to."

-- "A frat house?"

-- "If they keep staring at you like that I will."

-- "Someone could come in."

-- "Make me care."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "So I guess revenge on the frat party is out."

-- "I'm just waiting for someone to come in. The best revenge would to see Wonder Woman getting it on with her gangster boyfriend."

-- "Its just a frat party."

-- "I don't like that you're not taking care of yourself in this environment."

-- "And I don't like how you're looking at those sorority girls, but we all have to pick our battles."

-- "They're just girls, Blair."

-- "And Halloween is an excuse for girls to slut it up."

-- "Exhibit A."

-- "Wonder Woman is a super hero. This is her outfit. At least I'm not coming in, pretending to be dressed as a bunny but really looking to seduce other girls' boyfriends."

-- "Is that jealousy I detect in your voice, Waldorf?"

-- "Shut up."

-- "Don't make me use your own lasso of truth on you."

-- "I would rather put it to other uses."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "I thought you wanted to get revenge."

-- "I could think of more fulfulling ways to spend our first Halloween together in a year."

-- "And how's that?"

-- "Ripping off that patriotic leotard in the back of my limo."

-- "I'll bring the lasso."


	11. Our Adventures In the Doctor's Office

**A/N**: So still on my Chuck and Blair later life kick. Don't want to give too much away, though. All will become clear.

**Summary**:

-- "Is it my fault that you attack me when I'm just standing in front of you in a dress?"

-- "That 'dress' as you call it would be considered by other women as lingerie. From _La Perla_."

**Disclaimer**: All characters and references come from the amazing world of GG. (All hail Chair.)

* * *

-- "As situations such as these usually go, this isn't that bad."

-- "And you've been in situations like these before."

-- "Only with you."

-- "Charming."

-- "Come on. This wasn't my fault."

-- "Your fault? This is completely your fault!"

-- "Explain that to me again."

-- "You just can't control yourself."

-- "_You_ were on top of _me_, if you remember correctly."

-- "Which gave you the leverage to--"

-- "You're overreacting."

-- "I'm overreacting? You're the one who thought I had a concussion."

-- "Well you did land pretty awkwardly..."

-- "And I'm fine."

-- "Your arm isn't fine. It was practically sticking in the opposite direction."

-- "Well I did land on it pretty awkwardly."

-- "Hilarious. This wouldn't have happened if you weren't so damn insatiable."

-- "Don't change the subject, Bass. Is it my fault that you attack me when I'm just standing in front of you in a dress?"

-- "That 'dress' as you call it would be considered by other women as lingerie. From _La Perla_."

-- "And you are well acquainted with these women, are you?"

-- "I'm acquainted with you. And I'm just proving a point. You and your cleverly crafted schemes orchestrated that certain seduction and you know it."

-- "Thank you."

-- "..."

-- "Bass! Not here!"

-- "You weren't so opposing before."

-- "You mean right before you spun me off the bed?"

-- "No, after your x-ray."

-- "Oh. That."

-- "Yes, that. Your temporary amnesia seems to be wearing off now, doesn't it?"

-- "Well... that was just..."

-- "Me being irresistible."

-- "Don't hold yourself in such high regard."

-- "You used to be able to control yourself in public."

-- "And you used to be able to control yourself in the bedroom."

-- "That's debatable."

-- "No its not. When a person flings their beloved off their bed in a fit of passionate ecstasy, forcing them to ride their limo to the hospital, I definitely think that's something to debate."

-- "Really? If I were you I would consider that a compliment."

-- "The way the doctor did?"

-- "He was out of line."

-- "You can be an intimidating person, Bass. You were giving him the wrong impression to begin with."

-- "By being inquisitive about your injury--"

-- "That you caused."

-- "--Accidentally. Just because I was worried..."

-- "Possessive."

-- "Irrelevant. It wasn't like he had to call the nurses."

-- "He had a legitimate concern."

-- "Stop playing innocent, Waldorf. Its not funny. You know that I would never do that."

-- "But you did."

-- "Not on purpose. Its your fault your so lithe and limber. So..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Bass! What did I say about not here?"

-- "Normal people don't just fall off of beds like that, Blair."

-- "You would know. And I can't believe you're blaming me for spraining my wrist."

-- "Technically, you sprained your wrist. It was your momentum..."

-- "That you caused. You were the one who was overexcited."

-- "Oh, I'm not the only one, lover, trust me. There were definitely two of us in that bedroom."

-- "I didn't ask to land on my wrist during one of your fits of--"

-- "Ecstasy?"

-- "You're disgusting."

--"Well you were the one to be asked to be driven to the hospital. And who did that for you?"

-- "Arthur?"

-- "Sorry if I was too hazy to drive you anywhere. Maybe you should have taken a cab."

-- "Chuck, you don't even know how to drive. That's what you get for being pampered your whole life."

-- "Me? Who is the one who accepts the 35,000 dollar necklaces?"

-- "Its not like I asked you to get that for me."

-- "You weren't exactly reluctant, either. Or was that someone else who threw herself on top of me the night after she lost her virginity? To me."

-- "Don't act like you didn't enjoy every depraved second of it."

-- "I have no qualms with you being all over me. I rather enjoy it, actually. I do have qualms, however, with you blaming me on the account of a sprained wrist."

-- "I wasn't the only one."

-- "It was ridiculous for your doctor to assume I was an abusive sadist."

-- "When you walk in with your significant other the way you did after an injury, its hard not to be suspicious."

-- "You could have corrected him."

-- "You did that for me."

-- "It was necessary."

-- "You didn't have to yell out that it was the result of a sex injury so the whole ward could hear you."

-- "You weren't going to do it."

-- "I have a reputation to protect."

-- "That was shot to hell a long time ago. Especially with the four counts of public indecency."

-- "Not my fault you have an overactive libido."

-- "Is that so?"

-- "I wasn't the one who pulled a certain someone else into the bathroom at a four star restaurant."

-- "Again, you weren't that resistant. And I own the restaurant."

-- "That didn't stop the cops from detaining us."

-- "Like it mattered."

-- "It most definitely mattered. Both of our parents were in the other room."

-- "Lily didn't seem to mind."

-- "Lily isn't my father."

-- "And what is he going to do?"

-- "Not give me my trust fund?"

-- "You haven't had it before. I've been supporting you this whole time."

-- "I'm sure you were being very supportive when you accused me of having an affair with Humphrey."

-- "..."

-- "You overreacted."

-- "Only a little."

-- "A little? What do you call setting Georgina on him?"

-- "Fun."

-- "..."

-- "You think so too. I know you do."

-- "That... doesn't matter."

-- "Admit it. You can't resist my devilish charm."

-- "Devilish something."

-- "You're so attracted to me right now."

-- "Well that's going to stop."

-- "What have I done to deserve such treatment?"

-- "Vaulting me out of our bed, causing my blood work to have to be looked at."

-- "Well It turns out you're fine, so crisis averted."

-- "..."

-- "What?"

-- "I'm pregnant."

-- "..."

-- "Chuck?"

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Again?"

-- "And there's that charming support again."

-- "You're pregnant."

-- "Yes, Chuck."

-- "Again?"

-- "Yes, Chuck."

-- "Don't patronize me."

-- "Out of the two of us, I think I'm the one who has the right to be hormonally patronizing."

-- "Were you ever going to tell me?"

-- "I just found out."

-- "When?"

-- "Just now. Luckily we're so exploritive, otherwise I wouldn't have had to go to the hospitial for hitting the floor so hard."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "That's not funny."

-- "Forgive me."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Always."

-- "..."

-- "You and your crafty seduction."

-- "I learned from the best. And from the person who put me in this position in the first place."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "In what position?"

-- "Shut up, Bass."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Minx."


	12. My Seduction Attempts

**A/N**: I haven't really been stricken by my muse to do another dialogue lately, but this idea has been in my head for awhile. I also have another one in the works at the moment. I've recently become more interested in a C/B/D love triangle. Its obviously more one-sided because Blair would never go for that, so just suspend your disbelief for this fic because its just more interesting this way.

**Summary**:

-- "That's why you're not moving away."

-- "I have no clothes on."

-- "Just the way I like it. And you dug yourself into this whole. You never disappoint."

**Disclaimer**: All the words are mine, but the characters are just Gossip Girl.

* * *

-- "..."

-- "Are you just going to stand there all night?"

-- "This is... unexpected."

-- "What happened to the cool and indifferent Chuck Bass?"

-- "He's wondering where the straight-laced and proper Blair Waldorf went."

-- "She went along with that hideous dress on the _Victrola_ stage floor."

-- "Which time? That was quite a show tonight."

-- "It caught your attention."

-- "Is that what you were trying to catch?"

-- "That among other things. I was fishing for a Bass."

-- "..."

-- "What?"

-- "Nothing. Its just at times like these I wonder how I deserved something as wonderful as you lying naked in my bed."

-- "Wish I were someone else?"

-- "Never. I just can't remember what I did to deserve such perfection."

-- "It didn't seem that way tonight."

-- "You caught me off guard."

-- "You were the one who showed up spontaneously to Serena's bachelorette party."

-- "I was just protecting what's mine. And I don't know how you keep track. She's had so many."

-- "Its just another reason for a party. Maybe she'll actually get married one of these days."

-- "Its different this time. Considering that she is engaged to my best friend."

-- "And what number marriage is this for him?"

-- "I don't know. I'm too entrapped with the image of you in some bridesmaid's dress that slides easily off."

-- "And what about right now? Can you see me right now?"

-- "I can't take my eyes off you."

-- "And yet you're still standing in that doorway."

-- "I'm just considering my next course of action."

-- "Planning on torturing me some more?"

-- "Torture. Who was the one dancing with every red-blooded male in the room?"

-- "You weren't supposed to be there. It was a _bachelorette_ party."

-- "So what was Humphrey doing there?"

-- "I guess he wasn't invited to Nate's."

-- "He was there."

-- "I don't like the way you're looking at me."

-- "And how is that?"

-- "Has Humphrey implicated me of something I'm not aware of?"

-- "You know."

-- "Care to be more specific?"

-- "Don't act like I'm some irrational, jealous Neanderthal."

-- "Jealous."

-- "He was there for a reason."

-- "My seduction attempt isn't really going the way I planned."

-- "You're trying to distract me with sex."

-- "I learned from the best. And that's not what this is."

-- "And what is this?"

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Blair."

-- "I've missed you-- and don't pretend like I haven't because you know it isn't true."

-- "I see..."

-- "I'm not in the mood anymore--"

-- "So?"

-- "So, stop walking towards me."

-- "You're the one in my bed, sweetheart. And I have you at a disadvantage, I'm afraid."

-- "Just like you like me."

-- "I like you any way. Every way."

-- "I said no. Get off."

-- "Again, my bed. I can do with it as I wish. Including its occupants."

-- "You're deeply deluded."

-- "That's why you're not moving away."

-- "I have no clothes on."

-- "Just the way I like it. And you dug yourself into this whole. You never disappoint."

-- "You seemed pretty disappointed tonight."

-- "You see the way he looks at you. I know you do."

-- "What would Humphrey want with me?"

-- "What wouldn't he want? You're intelligent, witty, beautiful... Perfect."

-- "Maybe he just wants what he can't have."

-- "And why can't he have you?"

-- "Besides the fact that I obviously have more taste than my best friend... Because I belong to someone else."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "Fine. You've got me vulnerable and needy beneath you. You won."

-- "This isn't a game."

-- "Really? Then why is it that you look so smug--"

-- "I missed you too. Why do you think I ditched out on Nate's bachelor party to make sure some renter didn't overstep his bounds?"

-- "I would never allow that to happen."

-- "That didn't stop the other men with their hands all over you."

-- "I knew you were watching."

--"..."

--"..."

-- "I have missed you, Blair. Missed you in my bed, all over me... This was quite a pleasant surprise."

-- "I can tell. Your anatomy never lies to me."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "And I was tired of waiting for you."

-- "I love it when you take me into your own hands."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "..."

-- "I think this seduction attempt is going very well."


	13. Our Exploits in the Office

A/N: I wrote this ages ago in one of my notebooks and I was going to get rid of it soon so I finally remembered to post it. Some random awesomeness future fic.

Word Count: 925

Summary: "Like you're so virginal. I have the testament of a leather back seat that proves otherwise. You knew exactly what you were walking into that day. Because trust me, I know. Me getting jealous gets you hot."

Disclaimer: Only the dialogue is mine.

* * *

"I've wanted to do this all day."

"I didn't com here for _that_."

"You're here nevertheless."

"My department just asked me to come up here to ask you something."

"And they just happened to send you."

"Well they know that my head is the only one whose you won't bite off."

"I may. You're just the only one who likes it."

"I'm here for business, Bass. Not whatever office fantasies you've concocted in that depraved mind of yours."

"How do you expect me to react when you walk into board meetings dressed like _that_?"

"I expect you to restrain yourself. Especially meetings with board members. You are the CEO."

"CEO's before me never had to deal with in those business-formal skirts complete with those stockings I adore."

"What I wear is perfectly appropriate for my job."

"Obviously, then, your job is right here on my desk."

"I may be your wife but I was hired here for a reason. I'm not here just to be your..."

"Concubine?"

"..."

"I hope you know looking at me like that is only further inspiring my office fantasies."

"I just came to run something by you."

"Okay, then. Yes."

"...what?"

"I accept your proposal of having sex on my desk."

"Okay, stop it. You were the one who didn't want me hired here."

"Since when?"

"After you demanded that I become your wife, you insisted that I work at a different department if I were to be hired here."

"If you recall, you being hired here was one of the conditions of my proposal. You were the one who wanted to work at separate departments so I wouldn't be your boss."

"We both know that you would have taken every opportunity to exploit that. I'm just lucky I know you so well that I stopped that in its tracks."

"Are you saying that I would exploit treating you like a subordinate?"

"I'm saying if the way you were looking at me in that board meeting was any indication, you would have done all that was in your power to make me your secretary. People would start to notice."

"Oh, they already have."

"Excuse me?"

"I think it tipped them off when when we both walked into that meeting late with your lipstick on my collar and your skirt on backwards."

"It was _not_."

"It was. I remember because Harris was particularly observant that day."

"Did that have anything to do with your constant hostility towards him?"

"He should learn to keep his eyes on your face and inside his head. Its not my fault he's susceptible to hostility."

"That must have been the day you lured me into your office on the pretense of talking when instead you ripped my shirt open with your teeth."

"I didn't want him looking down it anymore."

"Yes, I'm sure destroying it completely solved that little problem."

"Like you're so virginal. I have the testament of a leather back seat that proves otherwise. You knew exactly what you were walking into that day. Because trust me, I know. Me getting jealous gets you hot."

"..."

"Don't roll your eyes at me. That's reason it took us nearly a year and a half before we officially... merged."

"Ew."

"Putting men in front of me and watching me knock them down turns you on."

"If I recollect correctly, it was me who got rid of those two myself."

"Three."

"I was only counting Nate once."

"So was I."

"..."

"Fine. If my theory is so preposterous, what was with that stock broker last week?"

"What was with that bar skank?"

"Touché. So that one was just for revenge, I suppose."

"Two birds with one stone."

"Are you saying that I'm right?"

"I'm saying that I should be leaving."

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"Stop that insufferable smirking."

"I thought you had something to ask me."

"Nevermind."

"The door is locked, sweetheart."

"And suddenly I have the paralyzing feeling of a trapped animal."

"You like it."

"Chuck, can you--...m."

"Good girl."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What was it that you had to tell me?"

"I don't remember."

"..."

"..."


	14. How We Always Will Be

**A/N**: I finally got inspiration for another one. I don't know if this one is humorous, but it has humorous parts in it (in my opinion.) Things like that just come out when you're writing dialogues.

**Word Count**: 1,244

**Summary**: "You little tease. Tempting him with that little body of yours to reveal that in actuality, it belongs to someone else."

**Disclaimer**: The words are mine and that's it.

* * *

"..."

"..."

"What are you doing here?"

"What was _he _doing here?"

"I asked you first."

"If we're really going to play that game, I think its pretty obvious what I'm doing here."

"Then I can assume its also obvious what he was."

"..."

"Don't smirk at me, Chuck Bass. I know that look. How dare you?"

"Can you blame me? I had to look after you somehow. I didn't want that boy of yours to be more of an embarrassment than he already was."

"I _new_ I spotted Mike that day. He's losing his touch."

"He gets the job done. He got the information of that boy to me, didn't he?"

"So it would seem."

"..."

"..."

"Aren't you going to take it?"

"..."

"Just open it, Waldorf."

"Why?"

"Because I went all the way to Tiffany's--"

"While I'm sure that arduous trek from Tiffany's to my penthouse was treacherous, that wasn't what I was talking about."

"It was fine. I took the limo anyway."

"What are you doing here?"

"I made a promise."

"..."

"That's my girl."

"Shut up. Just because I have a pension for expensive jewelry doesn't mean I have a pension for you. And I'm not your girl."

"For now."

"Don't get cocky."

"But I thought that was your favorite part of me."

"You disgust me."

"Just open it and stop flattering me with your compliments."

"..."

"..."

"It's very nice."

"'Very nice'? Do you know how much that cost me?"

"As much as this relationship?"

"At least you're admitting we're in a relationship."

"Don't delude yourself. We haven't been in one for a long while."

"Is that what you're telling yourself now? Does _he_ give you necklaces?"

"..."

"Bracelets?"

"..."

"Studs?"

"..."

"Shiny rocks?"

"Bass."

"I'm just trying to understand the appeal."

"And was buying me things the only appeal you ever had?"

"No. The sex was pretty good too. I just assumed there had to be something in it for you to be with someone who is so unworthy."

"And you're worthy?"

"I'm the only one who understands you, sweetheart. That counts for something if not everything. And like I said-- the sex was pretty good too."

"It just so happens that he cares about me."

"Really? Does he love you?"

"Yes."

"Does he love you like I do?"

"..."

"That's what I thought."

"Chuck. Just stop."

"Why?"

"What makes you think we can just pick up where we left off?"

"I don't."

"What makes you think I can let myself trust you again?"

"I don't. I wouldn't trust me if I were you right now anyway. Then again, I don't exactly trust you either."

"Then why did you come back for me?"

"Because I am selfish. Last time I checked, so where you. And we've been apart long enough already. And I can stand to be away from you just as much as you can stand to be away from me. Admit it, Waldorf. You're loins just curled at the sight of me. At the scent of me. You just can't wait to taste my--"

"Oh my god."

"...What?"

"You spoke to him, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. It's like you don't know me at all."

"Why would you do that?"

"You told him about me, princess."

"..."

"You little tease. Tempting him with that little body of yours to reveal that in actuality, it belongs to someone else."

"I don't belong to you."

"I didn't say you did."

"That doesn't mean it wasn't what you meant."

"And you immediately thought of me."

"I just know how self absorbed you are."

"I guess you and I are just two of a kind. It's why you never let anyone come close yo you. You knew I was coming back for you. You know you're my one and only."

"Even if it was some subconscious and horridly depraved fantasy that you would ever think of me again above your sluts, I had to make provisions. He was a... companion. I needed someone who made me feel safe after everything."

"But you could never hope to have what we had with anyone else. I was coming back no matter what sort of _companion_ you had."

"He was kind to me."

"Of course he was. I had to make sure you were taken care of."

"What?"

"If course I would make sure you were taken care of while I was gone. You know if he was wrong I would have ripped him away from you in an instant."

"You have serious boundary issues."

"And if we truly weren't inevitable you would have kicked me out long ago."

"I guess I just can't take a hint."

"He can."

"You antagonized him."

"No. He knew there was a ticking clock on your... companionship. The minute he saw me he knew it was over. He knew what would happen when I came back."

"And how could I know that you would?"

"Because this is the way its supposed to be."

"You left for a reason."

"So did you, if I recall. But I'm back now. I can't promise that I won't hurt you and there's a distinct possibility that you'll hurt me again."

"I don't know where you're going with this."

"Can they make you feel the way I make you feel? Does it even compare?"

"... Do you even have to ask?"

"Do you even have to ask why I came back?"

"..."

"..."

"It _is_ very beautiful."

"You sound surprised. You forget, I now you. Every hair, every line, every..."

"Chuck."

"Yes?"

"That wasn't an invitation to take my clothes off."

"Oh, I won't take everything off. You'll still have my necklace on."


	15. Our Rendezvous

A/N: This is the longest dialogue I've written to date and that may have something to do with I didn't handwrite it. Lots of Chair hotness because there haven't been that much on the show lately but upcoming commericials tell me differently.

Summary: "You're still here, draped over me like you should be. So tell me, Waldorf. Was it when I walked in tonight? Was it my raw, sexual, animal attraction and magnetism that finally did you in when you saw me?"

Word Count: 1,829

Disclaimer: Not mine but yay, GG was picked up for a fourth season (no surprise there.)

* * *

"Jesus, Waldorf, how tight did you have this dress tailored?"

"Just take it off."

"Pleasure. Always with pleasure."

"And it wasn't tailored."

"Oh?"

"My mother had it made."

"You'd think a mother would know her own daughter's size."

"Well, my mother was under the impression that I was a size two when I'm really..."

"Yes?"

"Just shut up and kiss me."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What?"

"You're beautiful. You know that right?"

"I thought I told you to shut up."

"You know I hate to disobey you."

"..."

"And this is where I protest. I do love it when you throw me down to ravish me, but I like to be the man in my own house."

"Like you had to prove your masculinity tonight?"

"I'm not the one misbehaving, princess."

"Really? Because I asked the state of your excitement, and it begs to differ."

"Down and dirty. I like it."

"Then do it."

"You know I always... rise to the occasion. And have risen."

"Then you're ruining the mood with all this talk."

"While that's usually my line, I know you love it when I talk dirty to you."

"I like it more when you...mh"

"...Satisfied?"

"Immensely."

"..."

"..."

"_Blair_."

"_Chuck_."

"..."

"..."

"That was..."

"You're ruining the mood again."

"I'm starting to think you only came on to me tonight for the sole purpose of a hit it and quit it. I told you how alike we are."

"You weren't exactly protesting."

"Well it was the first time you've spoken to me in months. I had to strike while the iron was hot. And if memory serves, you enjoyed the striking tremendously."

"While you vulgarity never ceases to disgust me, I would have to agree there was a lot more talking than deemed appropriate."

"Oh, so it wasn't appropriate to purr how you liked me inside of you? Funny, you usually scream a lot more than that."

"Well you weren't exactly appropriate either."

"It pales in comparison to you. Tell me. Is it appropriate to seduce an old, yet never waning flame at your own engagement party? I must be behind the times on propriety at society events. Because that would be the only explanation of how _appropriate_ you acted tonight."

"Then why don't you tell me, Bass? Is it deemed socially acceptable to announce how you oh-so cleverly seduced the bride-to-be's virginity in the back of a limo during high school?"

"So you planned to punish me by straddling me? Speaking of which, I would like to remind you that the limo you so pertinently mentioned saw a lot that night and it was you who straddled me. I was just a victim."

"Is that why you stalked me for the better part of the next day?"

"Stalk is such a strong word. And you didn't seem to mind. You spread your legs for me well enough after midnight."

"Take advantage of a heartbroken girl. That will earn sympathy."

"You didn't seem that heartbroken to me. Not with those claw marks down my back. About as heartbroken as you were tonight when you decided to give my lap a stroke so subtly under the dinner table."

"Why did you even come?"

"I always come for you. You know that. That's the one thing that hasn't changed since our first time together."

"Charming."

"I was invited, to answer your earlier question. And you know how I love the nearly nude statues."

"And I know how they love to be violated by you."

"Not as much as you love to be violated by me. And if you're so affronted, why did you come? And come and come, I might add."

"Ugh."

"You're not denying it."

"I never did."

"And you never will."

"What are you still doing here, then?"

"That leads us back to the previous question, why did you do more than look me in the eye for the first time since you regrettably accepted to Princeton's half hearted proposal? Shouldn't you be in your fiancée's bed and not mine?"

"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I don't have a fiancée anymore."

"And why might that be?"

"Because, as you so dutifully pointed out, I'm in _your_ bed."

"You don't know how much that excites me. Again."

"Don't use that tone of voice with me."

"What tone of voice?"

"You know. That gravelly, deep one that gets countless numbers of women to drop their dresses for you."

"But only one matters."

"You don't know how much that flatters me."

"Your sarcasm is refreshing. So what made you so dissatisfied with your mother approved excuse for a companion. Could it be that no matter how hard he tries he can't even give you an orgasm?"

"Who told you that?"

"That's true? I was only half serious."

"I'm going to murder Serena."

"I was fishing, Waldorf. But then again, I can always tell when you're unsatisfied. And I'm always the one to rectify the situation."

"So what if I am using you? I'll just find another husband just as quickly."

"Yes, your mother makes a fantastic match-maker, but also the most boring. You know my bed always has an open invitation."

"As it does for the rest of the population of the Metropolitan area."

"Only if the Metropolitan area has a population of one and I'm right between her legs."

"I wonder what deficiency in your brain makes you think that sort of thing wants to make me stay."

"Maybe the deficiency that also points out you're still here, draped over me like you should be. So tell me, Waldorf. Was it when I walked in tonight? Was it my raw, sexual, animal attraction and magnetism that finally did you in when you saw me?"

"Your innuendos get me hot."

"You've perfected the art of a deadpan."

"I've had practice."

"Want to have some more?"

"In your dreams."

"Well that must be now because you're not going anywhere."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well you're definitely not going back to that fiancée of yours. Sorry, _ex_ fiancée."

"Why not? Since he doesn't know we've broken up yet. I could just put on my dress and go back to the party."

"What's left of your dress, I must interject. And I doubt you'll hail a cab to get back to the party because you're sure as hell not going to use my limo. And your fiancée knows about the inevitable break up already. I'm surprised that it even lasted the length of the party."

"What? How does he know?"

"Because as soon as your hand made itself home in my lap, I took it upon myself to inform him the very activities that did in fact take place in my room. Many times."

"It hasn't happened many times."

"Oh, it's going to."

"Where has your charm been all my life?"

"It's been here. You just chose to ignore it when its most convenient. And you coming on hard to me isn't that much of a surprise."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I know you. And he never could have satisfied you. Not the way I can. Not the way I do. Or do you forget the first night I spotted that sparkly little diamond on your finger?"

"I remember. So does the floor of my walk in closet."

"I'm surprised. You were terribly drunk. So was I. But I just couldn't contain myself. You know how I hate to see other men's rings on your finger. Which was why I was pleased I didn't have to rip it off of you myself tonight. You've done that for me."

"What? It's gone?"

"..."

"It must have fallen off while..."

"You were purring in my ear? Really, Waldorf. He can't even both to get you a properly sized ring? The one I'll give you will at least be your exact size. And bigger, I must admit."

"The ring you'll give me?"

"No need to act skeptical. I needed a move that would ensure you would be mine by the night's climax. And yours."

"Do you rehearse your innuendos before hand?"

"I know you're thinking about that ring."

"Which one?"

"The one that is in your future. Don't worry. It's coming. Like you will be."

"Who says I'll have you?"

"You did. In that hallway after you dragged me from the table. Remember?"

"Vaguely."

"So are you going to go running back to him?"

"You know how I like sparkly things that are meant for me."

"It's okay. You can pretend you like my money. I know you like other parts of me a lot more."

"Did you ever stop to think that I never stopped loving you?"

"Obviously."

"Obviously?"

"Because I never stopped loving you either. You couldn't get more obvious than that."


	16. Your Charming Manipulations

**A/N**: This was inspired by Desperate Housewives. And I will be the first one to admit, it's not as good as other ones that I've done. I also needed some humor after the drama that is occurring at the moment.

**Word Count**: 1144

**Summary**: "You're so hot when you try to manipulate your way into getting me. And you know I love you too hard for my own good for that to happen."

**Disclaimer**: Only the words are of my own creation. (What? No GG next week???). And OMG, Chuck and Blair are meant to be, Season Finale Promo.

* * *

"Wow. Is that any way to greet your husband?"

"..."

"Okay, ow. That has to stop."

"You first."

"Not that I don't enjoy your feisty side, but your hand has made quite the impression on the side of my face."

"Don't act like you don't deserve it."

"I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific."

"..."

"Don't try that again, darling. Violence doesn't become you."

"Let go of me."

"Promise me you won't attempt to hit me again."

"No."

"Then I am afraid we are at an impasse of sorts."

"Let go of me, Bass."

"No. I think I like this arrangement better."

"..."

"...."

"..."

"Jesus, Blair."

"Don't think you can just worm your way out this one. Especially like... that."

"That doesn't make it necessary to bite my tongue."

"Really? What do you suppose what warrant that?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"Why don't you wrack your brain a little?"

"I must admit, it is difficult to think clearly with you looking so... flushed."

"Only out of anger, I assure you."

"And what have I done to incur your wrath, my love?"

"Don't you dare speak to me that way."

"Out of love?"

"Love. _Love_? Was it love that led you to tamper with my birth control?"

"..."

"And don't you dare try to deny it. It only could have been you."

"Quite the contrary--"

"How could you?"

"Crime of passion."

"_Crime of passion?_ This wasn't simply forgetting a condom, Bass."

"Which you drive me to do continually."

"You replaced my birth control with a placebo."

"I don't understand the problem."

"The problem is I'm pregnant, you jackass."

"I love it when you talk dirty, Blair."

"You selfish bastard. What the hell am I supposed to tell my mother?"

"The truth. I don't suppose she'll be that broken up about it considering she was the one who recruited me into doing it in the first place."

"...Excuse me?"

"I suppose she really wanted a guarantee of grandchildren. We're both too responsible to let that happen accidentally."

"And you? Did you actually want this or did you let yourself be manipulated by my mother?"

"Please. I've never heard anything so insulting."

"Never once have you insinuated you've wanted anything more from me than thrill."

"That is an exaggeration. Most likely due to the spike in your hormones."

"I hate you."

"You mean this minute? Probably."

"What I cannot figure is your motive in all of this."

"Don't act as though this is some great atrocity."

"I don't. But you haven't acted anything to the contrary."

"Doesn't this seem to the contrary?"

"Don't act like you wanted this to happen."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"You mean besides the debacle with your own mother?"

"That has nothing to do with us. This way..."

"..."

"..."

"Don't hold back now. You've been so truthful up to this point."

"What makes you think I don't want this?"

"Because we fall apart at the smallest amount of insecurity. We love too strongly to involve a child in this."

"That doesn't mean you don't want it."

"And it's all about me."

"Why do you sound so disbelieving? It's always been about you. For me, it's always been you."

"Except now."

"Well it's always been you, but that doesn't stop me from being incredibly selfish. You know that."

"And that's what drove you to this? Selfishness?"

"I did this because I wanted to."

"Why?"

"I don't understand."

"You always have a motive. And it's not just because you want an heir to your business or you want a little girl with my eyes or whatever. If it was, you would have just asked."

"You're forgetting to take my pride and insecurities into account."

"While a valid scenario, you did this for something else. Everything always occurs to you. You needed insurance. What did you do, promise our firstborn in exchange for another hotel?"

"I am going to let that slide considering your moods will be vacillating quite frequently."

"I don't hear a denial."

"Because you don't need one. I did do this on purpose but I would never do that. Not after everything that has happened between us."

"So what, Chuck? Are you going to sell it for meth?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"This was the only way I could ensure you would stay with me for good."

"...What?"

"It's too much, Blair. It's been too much. If you left again for good, I don't think I could handle it."

"So you manipulated your way into knocking me up?"

"At least this way... even if you ever stopped loving me, I would always have a part of you."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What was that for?"

"That was sweet."

"Sweet. You are so the woman for me."

"..."

"..."

"You're so hot when you try to manipulate your way into getting me. And you know I love you too hard for my own good for that to happen."

"At least that's not the only thing that's hard."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

".."

"..."

".."

"..."

"I knew I would love these mood swings."


	17. The Way I Try to Fool Myself

**A/N**: I've been reading a couple of fics that sort of go along these lines. So, no infringement intended. This just popped into my head.

**Word Count**: 1265

**Summary**: "You can't stop yourself from fornicating with me vivaciously and often. And it's that lack of self restraint that lets me know. You and I aren't going anywhere."

**Disclaimer**: Inspired by other fics, but the words are all mine. (Alas, Chair belongs to those more awesome than me.)

* * *

"I've missed you."

"We can't keep doing this."

"And yet... here you are."

"I mean it, Chuck. This is the last time."

"I'll try and remember that when you waltz in here, dropping your dress to proposition me. But forgive me if my mind is a little hazy at the moment."

"It wasn't supposed to be this way."

"You've been saying that for the past six months. Now that I think of it, you've been saying that since the beginning."

"Just kiss me and make me forget."

"That you're married?"

"You're not complaining."

"I am complaining of this stalemate. None of us is winning this one."

"It didn't sound that way last night. And anyway, you're the one who refuses to concede."

"What did you expect? The moment I give into you is the moment I lose you."

"You were never supposed to have me in the first place."

"That's your own fault. You never should have walked into my office that day."

"I had no other choice. You were bulldozing everything in your path."

"And look what it got me."

"..."

"What? Come back here."

"Tell me this was all a coincidence."

"What?"

"Tell me you chose his hotel because you wanted it. Not because he was my husband."

"It's the same thing."

"It isn't."

"..."

"..."

"Can't it be both?"

"Chuck."

"Then tell me something, Waldorf. Tell me you married him because you wanted to, not because his company was the largest rival of mine."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because he sent you here to proposition me for his precious hotel."

"You two are more alike than I realized."

"There is a slight difference."

"Oh? And what is that?"

"You want to be here. He told you exactly what he wanted and you walked in here to get exactly what you wanted."

"And what does that have to do with my marriage?"

"Because you knew this would happen."

"Are you saying I orchestrated this entire thing?"

"You have made an illusion of you marriage not to mention your true desires."

"I am here because I am forced to be here."

"Maybe I would have a chance in believing that if this was the first or second time. Or even the third. But here we are months later."

"You promised me that first night if I stayed with you that you would leave my husband's company alone."

"I only ever promised to make you happy. Can you honestly tell me this makes you happy? That your husband makes you happy?'

"I believed you. I believed that you would honor your word."

"Is that why you came the next night? Or do you tell yourself it was just to make sure I would 'honor my word?'"

"You didn't."

"I honored my word as was my original intent. And I still ended hiking up your legs around my waist like the night before."

"I didn't intend to be an adulteress."

"Then why did you marry someone else?"

"...Because he rivaled your company."

"I knew it."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You have to admit it now. Our pull is even greater than ever. I need to hear you say it."

"Will you give it all back to him?"

"What would be the point? You leave and for vengeance I would take it right back. You stay with me, you would ask me to take it for your own cruel enjoyment. And I would comply gladly because we're the same. You ask and I would do anything for you."

"And if I ask you to let me leave for good?"

"I would never believe you."

"I've meant it before."

"But never for long."

"Why is it so important that I stay here?"

"Because this is the way things are supposed to be. Why else have you been coming back to me all this time?"

"Because you give me no other choice."

"Not just now. Since the beginning. You tell me we're done for good. You tell me we've ended. I've done some unforgivable things and so have you. But you can't deny this thing between us."

"I can't. That's the problem. We belong together. We always have. But you can't deny we do terrible things when we're together."

"Doesn't that make it worth it? That even after everything, we've still survived each other. You make me a better person."

"And what about me? What am I when I'm with you?"

"Everything. You're everything to me."

"The things I'm driven to..."

"You shouldn't view us loving each other like a curse."

"I wanted to see you again."

"I know."

"I don't think he's getting his business back."

"Evidently. What about me?"

"You."

"Where do your loyalties lie?"

"Where they apparently always have."

"You let him do this to you."

"I guess I walked up here on my own, then. Didn't I?"

"Does it bother you he did exactly what I did?"

"I knew what I was walking into up here."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I knew I could seduce you into giving everything to me."

"One problem."

"What's that?"

"It wasn't supposed to remind you of how in love with me you are."

"A miscalculation on my part. But you forget I've done this before."

"Another miscalculation."

"And what was that?"

"You never slept with Jack, much to my surprise and delight that night. But you can't stop yourself from fornicating with me vivaciously and often. And it's that lack of self restraint that lets me know. You and I aren't going anywhere."

"So?"

"So. Leave him."

"Chuck..."

"What? What could you possible say that would change us?"

"I left my husband the moment I walked through those doors."

"Good. At least now you know."

"I always knew."

"So what stopped you?"

"Strangely, for the life of me, I can't remember."


	18. Her Vindictive Tendencies

**A/N**: Another pregnancy all dialogue. I can't help but writing these and especially with Chuck actually going as far as to attempt to propose to her, I am becoming more optimistic of their future, regardless of the state they are in at the moment. (Please someone save him.) And I just needed something humorous while he's laying in a pool of his own blood. So enjoy.

**Summary**: "Should I be remorseful that every young face that's trying to move up the latter is trying to nail my wife? No. I think I made the right decision. Remorseful that I might not have sex with my hot wife tonight? Most definitely."

**Disclaimer**: Only the little bits of dialogue I have concocted myself. Because I definitely couldn't have made a cliffy that was so good, so bad, and make me want to much more than the geniuses that are the GG writers. Gr and a little mad about spoilers I shouldn't be reading because they upset me.

* * *

"Are you trying to ruin me?"

"The simple answer to that would be yes."

"Blair."

"Chuck."

"..."

"Oh look. Here come your admirers. I guess you must be off."

"If you think I'm going to leave you alone for one minute then you must have developed some mental deficiency."

"And I could say the same for you, darling."

"Oh?"

"If you think I am just another one of your subordinates then you have really underestimated me."

"You're my wife. You're supposed to—"

"--Obey you?"

"Not humiliate me, I was going to say."

"Believe me when I tell you I am here for one reason only."

"Really. Enlighten me."

"I'm here to punish you, Bass. Like you expected anything less."

"I expected something like that when you walked in here dressed like that."

"I've worn this to my mother's meetings with buyers."

"But now you're..."

"Now I'm what? Say it. My looks don't satisfy you anymore."

"You're insane."

"Me? You're the one who disinvited me."

"I only did that because..."

"Because I'm acting insane?"

"Well you are. You come in here in a dress I gave you--"

"To where to my mother's--"

"--That you're... filling out. You must have realized that I don't want my pregnant wife flirting with men that are supposed to respect me."

"So now I'm an embarrassment to you. You're ashamed to be seen with me."

"No. You're hot and all my so called subordinates are salivating all over you."

"That's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem."

"Very convincing, Bass. So you wouldn't mind me walking over towards your _subordinates_ and--"

"You wouldn't."

"I think we've been over the things that you don't think I'm capable of."

"You want to punish me? Fine. Consider me punished."

"Oh, my love. You know that's not how it works."

"How does it work, then?"

"Apparently it works by you loving your work more than me."

"Please. Your hormones are making you paranoid."

"You think I'm fat!"

"...What?"

"Admit it. You said so yourself. I'm 'filling out.'"

"In all the right places."

"..."

"..."

"...Are you... hitting on me?"

"Can't a man come on to his own wife anymore?"

"Not when he thinks his wife is huge."

"Blair. You're barely three months. Trust when I say that any weight you've gained is where my employees should definitely be fired for looking at in the first place."

"You're only complimenting me because you don't want to humiliate you at an event that's being held in your honor."

"Is it so much to ask that my beautifully scheming wife to refrain from her irresistable compulsion to humiliate me whenever I screw up just this once?"

"Are you admitting you made a mistake? A feat I know is almost impossible for you."

"..."

"I knew it. You're not even remorseful."

"Remorse is for the poor and those who can afford it. Should I be remorseful that every young face that are trying to move up the latter is trying to nail my wife? No. I think I made the right decision. Remorseful that I might not have sex with my hot wife tonight? Most definitely."

"Like you ever want to have sex with me again. I know I disgust you."

"I don't recall ever intentionally or unintentionally giving you that impression. And just to inform you, ever since I impregnated you, you scream louder. So yes, I would love to have sex with you right now if you weren't being such a bitch."

"...Really?"

"I love that you take that as a compliment."

"But, really, Chuck?"

"Absolutely."

"Good."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I have to say that I find your mood swings increasingly arousing."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"But the ceremony is right downstairs."

"Are you afraid we'll get caught?"

"Please tell me this is actually turning you on and you're not just teasing me."

"I need to have you now."

"Good answer."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Do I really scream louder?"

"Do I need to proclaim how hot that is?"

"I can't control myself when I'm around you."

"As it should be."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Chuck."

"Mm."

"What if someone really does come in?"

"It wouldn't surprise me the way you're screaming."

"Are you saying that would be humiliating? You were the one to say that's what me coming would entail."

"Only when you're being vindictive. If my employees come in here thinking someone is being murdered then at least they know exactly whose wife you are."

"That's what I thought."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Wait, what was that?"

"If you think I came here solely for your destruction, then I think you need to re-evaluate."

"You played me?"

"Don't act so impressed. The minute I got here I dragged you up the stairs."

"So you didn't come to humiliate me."

"You uninvited me and I just had to have you but you weren't there."

"You have no idea how much I love you."


	19. How I Destroy Him For You

**A/N**: So whoa this is the longest dialogue I've had to date. Probably because its more comprehensive and not as humorous as usual. I still hope its entertaining. I got inspired by reading a recent Chair one-shot so the idea is not totally mine.

**Summary**: "There's no need for sarcasm. I was 16 years young. I didn't know there were so many other options. And I was enraptured in a fast developing love with a girl full of unforgiving beauty."

**Disclaimer**: Inspired so even the idea isn't mine. Completely.

* * *

"Get rid of whatever whores you've got hidden away in the bathroom. We've got to talk, Bass."

"I appreciate the flattery but I'm alone."

"You mean we're alone."

"Are you hitting on me?"

"Don't sound so self assured. I just don't want to take the chance of your half priced harlots overhearing us."

"Let me be the first to remind you none of what I have is cheap. You should know that more than anyone."

"Charming."

"Which is probably why you're here."

"Your arrogance has nothing to do with it."

"So you're just using me."

"What makes you say that?"

"You're here for a reason. And I'm guessing it's not for a date."

"And for that, I am thankful."

"I'll ignore that remark, citing temporary insanity on your part."

"Insanity."

"Don't sound so dubious, lover. You and I both know this is just an obstacle."

"What is?"

"Blair."

"Oh, I know. Could it possibly that French girl that calls herself your girlfriend?"

"Not anymore."

"..."

"Are you really thankful now?"

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"How about what you're really doing here."

"You know how much I detest asking for help. Especially from you."

"Vulnerability is something neither of us wish to have."

"That being said-"

"You need my help."

"No need to be so smug."

"How can I not? The day I decide that Eva has filled her purpose you waltz in here like no time has passed. How can I not think that Fate is at work here."

"Fate."

"Don't dismiss it so quickly. There was a time when destiny was an avid part of your vocabulary."

"And then you went and got a glamorous French girl to replace me."

"Don't sound so jealous. You know I was only ever thinking of you."

"That I find hard to believe."

"You're here now, aren't you?"

"Because I need something from you. So yes, I suppose I am using you."

"You would think that would deter me. But now I'm just curious as to what exactly it is that you need from me."

"I don't need from you. All I am insinutating is that it would be convenient if you were to offer your services."

"Would these so called services include having a throw back to a burlesque stage and the back of my limo?"

"Don't hold your breath. There is no way I would be _servicing_ you in the back of your lecherous limo."

"Not exactly what I had in mind, but I'm open to suggestions."

"How about this, then? I take whatever scraps of clothing your skanks don and strangle you with it."

"I understand that you need to think that I am constantly sleeping with sluts for an excuse to keep me at arm's length. But you don't need to threaten. I am happy to aid you."

"Really? Why do I find that so hard to believe?"

"Because you know I'll ask for something in return. But that's just how this game works, isn't it? So tell me what it is that you need from me."

"I told you-"

"You don't need me. Whatever you need to tell yourself. Now tell me what it is that is so urgent you barge in here at all hours of the night."

"Don't act as though you're not completely enjoying it."

"And you're back to flirting with me."

"You wish. It's just the only way I know to capture your attention."

"No matter what you do, you can never bore me."

"Fascinating. Now are you going to help me or not?"

"I would love nothing more than to entertain you. Now what exactly is it that you... require."

"Carter Baizen."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't look at me like that, Bass. I know you don't think of me so depreciatingly that I would actually want him like that."

"Did you or did you not just say you wanted Carter Baizen?"

"I want him in the ground. And I know that you are the only person that I can turn to."

"And why is that?"

"I thought I told you to stop being smug."

"This is so much better than I had anticipated."

"What does that supposed to mean?"

"You come in here tonight. All I expected were some backhanded comments and lewd innuendos. And you've given me something so much better."

"To be fair, there are always lewd innuendo."

"And then you come in here and remind me why I love you so much. You have to remember."

"I don't have to remember anything."

"Come on, Waldorf. Look at me. You remember that late night before the wedding. Plotting Georgina away. How you let me into your bed again."

"You violated my bed. You were supposed to stay on the floor."

"Don't pretend you didn't make room for me when you felt me next to you."

"I was asleep."

"Is that why hitched your leg around me?"

"Stop it, Chuck. This isn't what I came here for."

"I understand that. I can wait. I've been waiting since I was 16."

"Are you going to do it or not?"

"Do what, exactly?"

"Don't start unbuckling your pants. This is a business transaction. That's all."

"And then maybe after we can transact with each other."

"And then maybe I can dismember you."

"You're just taunting me to tell you I love you again."

"It doesn't matter to me."

"Try and look me in the eye when you say it."

"Are you in, Bass? Or are you out?"

"No need to get testy. Just tell me what backhanded comment he said about your dress so I can destroy him."

"He's going to sell our sex tape."

"..."

"..."

"...What?"

"I know you heard me, Chuck. Don't make me say it again."

"A sex tape."

"...Yes."

"With you and Carter Baizen."

"Chuck."

"How could this have happened?"

"How do you think? I was trying to make you jealous and he took advantage by sneaking a camcorder into my room. And now he's trying to blackmail me."

"Trying to make me jealous."

"You remember."

"Perhaps you'll have to remind me. Which time with Baizen was this?"

"There was only one time and you know it."

"Because you couldn't have possibly been trying to make me jealous that time."

"Are you doubting my motives, Bass?"

"You kicked me out."

"You yelled at me."

"I was trying to protect you."

"And you didn't find me kissing him in front of you suspicious?"

"I suppose I was just so overcome with all encompassing rage."

"Well there you go. Are you a willing participant now, or not?"

"So he's blackmailing you. What is he trying to make you do exactly?"

"Anything. Everything. He won't stop taunting me with it. I don't know what to do."

"What to do is simple. He violated you. He's blackmailing you. He's dead."

"That is more compassion than I thought you were capable of."

"This has nothing to do with compassion. The truth is I'm taking advantage of the situation. And you know it."

"And what exactly are you doing?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to bury him."

"With pleasure."

"Thank you."

"On one condition."

"..."

"You had to know this was coming."

"I did. I'm just wary of how far you're going to take this."

"As far as I can."

"I assumed as much. So what is it?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"I can't spend the night with you, Chuck."

"Do you really think that I am that unoriginal?"

"Forgive me, but the first real wager we ever did, those were the stakes."

"Ah, how could I forget? The turning point in my life. But as you recall, there didn't even have to be a wager."

"Right. You were so charming."

"There's no need for sarcasm. I was 16 years young. I didn't know there were so many other options. And I was enraptured in a fast developing love with a girl full of unforgiving beauty."

"I suppose you haven't really lost any of that charm."

"So will you be spending the night?"

"I thought you were more original than that."

"I meant of your own free will. There's nothing saying that a wager must dictate our... relations."

"We don't have relations."

"I haven't named the stakes yet."

"And what, pray tell, are those going to be?"

"I think I'll let this situation of ours develop a little more fully first."

"You can't name the stakes half way into the game. That's against the rules."

"Since when do we follow the rules?"

"I need to know right here and right now. What is the price for your assistance."

"No assistance. I will do this for you and you will let me. I'm going to destroy him and I don't want you as collateral damage."

"Because I'll just get in the way?"

"Because he's victimized you enough already. And hell if I'm going let him take advantage of you again."

"As appreciative as I am-"

"As appreciative as you are, I am doing you a favor, am I not?"

"..."

"..."

"Fine."

"Good."

"And you can wipe that smirk off your face."

"Impossible."

"What do you want in return?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

"Well?"

"You."

"I thought we weren't going to do that, Bass."

"You said you weren't. But I have free reign. It's simple, really."

"What?"

"When I finally present that shiny diamond ring to you for real, you can't say no."

"..."

"..."

"What?"

"You have to promise to at least consider it. Because I promise you, it's going to happen."

"..."

"Well?"

"..."

"Blair."

"...Fine. We have an agreement."

"Good. And something else."

"Something else?"

"I am saving you from utter public humiliation."

"And you're happy to do it."

"There is still one small stipulation."

"What is it?"

"I want you on my arm at your mother's event tomorrow night."

"My mother's event?"

"Surely you're going."

"How did you know about that?"

"I was invited."

"I didn't even know about that."

"Then you can be my plus one."

"You are the most condescending bastard I have ever met."

"Then I am a perfect match for the most condescending bitch I have ever met."

"Do you consider that a compliment?"

"That I'm your match? Yes."

"I will... concur with your stipulation."

"That's it?"

"But you have to keep your hands to yourself like a gentleman the entire night."

"But I'm not a gentleman."

"You're good at pretending."

"That's the reason your mother invited me."

"What was?"

"That I wasn't a gentleman."

"What do you mean by that?"

"She knew the only way I would get you back was if I acted like the arrogant, selfish bastard that I am."

"..."

"What?"

"You planned this entire thing."

"Well I didn't know that you would come to me tonight, but I was sure Eleanor would spring tomorrow on you as well as me."

"You have me in a gridlock."

"Alas, alas."

"Keep your hands to yourself, Bass."

"I'll see you then."

"This is a business transaction. That's it."

"For now."

"I mean it."

"So do I. I'll come by with the limo."

"I'd rather take a cab."

"No you wouldn't."

"I have to choose the lesser of two evils."

"But you love being evil with me."

"Whatever."

"Wear something hot."

"You don't have to insult me by doubting me."

"Forgive me, but I was worried you would wear something downcast just to torture me."

"Hadn't crossed my mind."

"Good."

"Yet."

"Baizen will be there."

"What a coincidence."

"I'm going to end him, Blair."

"Good."

"For doing that to you."

"..."

"..."

"I understand."

"You're acting more proper than usual."

"I just don't want you to get the wrong idea."

"That I'm staring at my future wife? I wouldn't dream of it."

"I only promised I would consider it."

"Trust me, love. I know you've been considering it the moment you saw that box."

"That box could have been holding anything. I don't know what you were going to ask me."

"I know what you wanted it to be."

"I'm leaving."

"And I'm couting the moments until we see each other again."

"Me too."

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing."


End file.
